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BYOD Is Like A Guns N’ Roses Song

So Blizzard Nemo has come and gone….leaving Boston with only 24.9 inches of snow.  That’s 63.246 cm for those more inclined to the metric system.  While I will admit to not having had to clear out a sidewalk, or dig my car out for that matter, that doesn’t preclude me from admitting that I may have finally succumb to the winter blues.  I’m a little cranky these days…hoping for some change.  Firstly, I would love for the groundhog to be correct in his prediction that Spring is just around the corner.  Unfortunately, I have no control over Mother Nature.

In that same vein, I am yearning for change – knowing full well that I have absolutely zero control over it – around enterprise mobility.  I’m talking about BYOD.  That awful, awful, four-letter acronym that seems to pop up in literally every single conversation on enterprise mobility. In fact, just last week, I decided to see how many times BYOD popped up on Twitter.  It was over 100 times…in just ONE hour!!!

That’s more than 2400 times a day, or 52,800 times a month (not including weekends)…and that’s just on Twitter!  Talk about sensory overload.

I still don’t understand why we talk so much about this topic.  It truly feels to me like we’re beating a dead horse.  Speaking of a dead horse, funny how the eponymous Guns N’ Roses song has lyrics that include:

I met an old cowboy
I saw the look in his eyes
Somethin’ tells me he’s been here before
‘Cause experience makes you wise

We have been here before because at the end of the day, it absolutely does not matter who owns the device…it’s what you do to protect the data, content and information on the device that matters.  Everything else is superfluous in my opinion.

So in that vein, I am going to coin here today a new acronym for enterprise mobility.  I know….you’re already cringing at the thought of yet ANOTHER acronym in enterprise mobility (and by the way, I’m fully cognizant of the fact that I am guilty for having coined some of them myself).

But here’s the kicker.  The new acronym is one that I fully expect no one other than myself to adopt because it seems as if we can never get enough of that four-letter elixir.

The acronym is “VoEM” and it stands for “Voldemort of Enterprise Mobility.”  Some of you may now think that I did in fact shovel 24.9 inches (63.246 cm) of snow and may have fallen and suffered from a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury). I assure you that no such thing occurred.

Remember Voldermort from the Harry Potter series?  The story goes that he is so evil that no one dares speak his name and as such is often referred to as “He Who Shall Not Be Named.”  This seems perfectly appropriate to me in the context of “That Topic That Shall Not Be Named in Enterprise Mobility”….hence VoEM.

Now this all said, I feel compelled to restate the fact that I have not lost my mind and that today’s rant is done with complete lucidity.

I’m just tired of VoEM being tacked on to every product offering, topic or conversation in enterprise IT.  I know that VoEM will not catch on and I know that we will see myriad stories, tweets, products and announcements all related to VoEM for the foreseeable future (and probably well beyond).

I’m just tired of it.

3 Comments

  1. Posted February 13, 2013 at 22:16 | Permalink

    the word ‘balderdash’ comes to mind ;-)

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  2. Posted April 15, 2013 at 14:38 | Permalink

    Thank you. Let’s run with this at 7.

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